For music mavens and alternative rock junkies, there is really nothing worse than going to a wedding. That Israel Kamakawiwo’ole cover of Somewhere Over the Rainbow for the bride’s dance with her father. The young couple who just has to have Lil Jon’s Get Low. And what kind of wedding wou—oh come one! Is that the Electric Slide?! You’ve got to be kidding me!
What is the most surprising is that these weddings are for your friends. The same people you hang out with every week, who listen to the same podcasts as you, watch the same TV shows, appreciate the same music. What happened to them to suddenly be okay with the Chicken Dance and Y.M.C.A. piping over the loud speakers?
3 Reasons Why Your Wedding Will Have Terrible Music
1. The DJ takes the reins. A wedding DJ is an artist. You may not think so, but he or she most certainly does. And as an artist, the DJ believes he has the right to certain liberties that can be unexpected for the bride and groom et al. You may have had your playlist perfected, but if the DJ sees the dance floor lagging, he is going to throw on his sure-fire, never-fail, always-gets-people-moving mix and take it from there. If that special DJ mix happens to include the lyrics “my lip-gloss is cool, my lip-gloss be poppin’” … well you’re just out of luck.
2. You’re just too tired to plan anymore. Sure, picking out the music for your wedding sounds like fun (you do have excellent taste in music, after all). But after you’ve survived the battlefield that is finding a wedding photographer that doesn’t cost $4,000 and spent sleepless nights wondering if sashimi really was a reasonable choice for a first course, designing a wedding playlist is just about the last thing you want to do. Leaving it to the experts is just so tempting. I mean, a DJ is a DJ for a reason, right? It’s his or her job. They must know what they are doing.
And suddenly, you’re loosening your tie or hiking up your skirt and mouthing the words to Katy Perry. “What happened here?” you might wonder. “In what feasible reality would I have ever let this through?” But by then it’s too late. You’re music is in the hands of another, and there isn’t anything you can do about it – or your reputation.
3. Not everyone at the wedding shares your musical preferences. If you and your significant other are one of those couples whose entire reason for existence is one band (say you met at that fateful Pearl Jam Riot Act tour) it may be tempting to dedicate the bulk of the reception’s playlist to one band’s repertoire.
Don’t get me wrong: Pearl Jam is great. Eddie Vedder lives in the same town I do, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t scope out discrete coffee shops on Sunday mornings to see if I could spot him ordering an espresso. But more than one Pearl Jam song at a reception means instant wedding doldrums. The only way a PJ-overload is going to fly is if the vast majority of your wedding guests knows every song. And hates dancing. Because you can’t dance to Pearl Jam (you look like an idiot trying) and people like things they can sing along to.
What choice are you left with other than to slip in a couple of the choice, superior songs you love, and flood the rest of the dance floor with weird, radio hip-hop and those dance songs where they instruct you on your next move: One hop this time. Two hops this time.
Wedding Songs to Make Everyone Happy
Don’t worry, you future brides and grooms with intense indie urges. There are songs that exist that meet both dancability and elitist expectations. Use these as a guide.
Little Latin Lupe Lu, by the Righteous Brothers It’s groovy, it’s retro, and if you don’t know it, the words are pretty easy to figure out.
Shout, by The Isley Brothers I will acknowledge that this one is a little controversial, especially for music snobs who don’t want to have any song from a soundtrack at their wedding (even if the movie is Animal House). But I guarantee everyone – EVERYONE – will dance to this song. They will even get down to the ground when they get softer now, and bring it back up as they get louder now, and it’s the most fun you’ll ever have.
Jump Jive & Wail, by the Brian Setzer Orchestra Okay, okay. So it’s 90s. And it’s swing-y. But it gives the older folks a chance to show off their moves while at the same time gets the youngster’s toes a-tappin’.
Something sort of PG-13 rated from Girl Talk The great thing about Girl Talk is that he mixes all sorts of danceable gems together into a giant, glorious mashup. The downside is that 2/3 of said gems boast vaguely suggestive content. Try “Bounce That.” It’s hot and only says “hoes” 3 times.
Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough, by Michael Jackson It might be too soon for some, but it’s a dance floor masterpiece
You Sexy Thing, by Hot Chocolate Let’s take it down a notch and get some slow grooves in there. Because everyone at a wedding is sexy, and it’s a miracle.
Remix to Ignition, by R. Kelly Just kidding.
Do you have your own favorite wedding dance hits? Share ‘em – but you should note that any references to Journey or Bon Jovi automatically disqualify you from the cool list.
About the writer:
Rachel Smith a writer based in the Pacific Northwest. She writes for Storkie Express about wedding invitations and all things wedding related. She has phenomenal taste in music.